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Q:Whats brown and sticky?
A:A stick
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
A: DAM!
A man comes home and says to his wife, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery!" She says, "That's wonderful dear! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" He says, "I don't care, just get the hell out!"
A mushroom goes into a bar. Bartender says, "Get out, no none of your kind in here!" Mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it!
Sometimes people are like Slinkies. They aren't good for much but you can't help but smile when you see one tumbling down the stairs.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left it.
SAN FRANCISCO(AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a San Francisco, CA courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the San Francisco 49ers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"
*ducks to avoid the rotten tomatos being thrown*
A:A stick
Q: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
A: DAM!
A man comes home and says to his wife, "Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery!" She says, "That's wonderful dear! Should I pack for the beach or the mountains?" He says, "I don't care, just get the hell out!"
A mushroom goes into a bar. Bartender says, "Get out, no none of your kind in here!" Mushroom says, "Why not? I'm a fungi!"
Q: How do you make holy water?
A: You boil the hell out of it!
Sometimes people are like Slinkies. They aren't good for much but you can't help but smile when you see one tumbling down the stairs.
Two fish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "How do you drive this thing?"
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left it.
SAN FRANCISCO(AP) - A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a San Francisco, CA courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the San Francisco 49ers, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.
A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"
*ducks to avoid the rotten tomatos being thrown*
